Are You There?

The question is not whether my spirits will be low. The question is, when they are, what will I have to contemplate?

Will I have been true to my word and steadfast, or will I have broken my word and been unfaithful? And if I have broken my word and been unfaithful, what will be my comfort?

Living in integrity is a comfort of its own, and if I could manage it, it would be all the comfort I need. But I think for a sinner like me, I need the added comfort of grace and forgiveness, because I do make mistakes, and I feel them keenly.

Where are You, God? If there were such a man as You, if there were such a man, then I would not need any other. I would want You more than all, and our separation would be hard to bare. I see a glimpse here and there. But forget about the these things. Where are You, God? I see a shadow on the wind, a trace of where you've been, but where are You? Can you be held with hands, or are you just the wind? Are the the creation of our minds, of the perfect and sublime? Or are You there?

With these very eyes I shall see You, and with these very hands feel You. I shall hold You, and never, never let go.